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Three Ways to Overcome Feelings of Inadequacy

We all know that feeling. The one where you look in the mirror and don’t like what you see. You think to yourself, “I’m not good enough.” You feel like you’re not living up to your potential.

I used to have a lot of days like that, and I would wonder how anyone could ever love me.

How about you?

Sometimes I would even feel like giving up altogether.

If this sounds familiar, don’t worry – you’re not alone. In fact, many Christian women struggle with feelings of inadequacy. But there is hope!  

“…He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.” Philippians 1:6

Confusion, fear, and feelings of inadequacy are not from God. On the contrary, our God instills clarity, faith, and identity, so the opposite comes from the enemy. Satan loves to derail us with any means possible, and it is up to us to stop him.

So if you want to overcome feelings of inadequacy and become the confident woman God created you to be, keep reading. This post will give you steps on how to get started.


Three Steps Towards Freedom

1. Acknowledge your feelings, don’t try to ignore them or push them down. When you feel inadequate, it’s important to remind yourself that everyone feels that way at some point. No one is perfect, and everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Remind yourself that you are capable and you can do anything through Christ (Philippians 4:13).

2. Don’t try to compare yourself to others. One of the most common sources of inadequacy is the way in which we compare ourselves to others. We may find that we come up short in terms of our accomplishments, looks, wealth, popularity, etc. We may feel that we are not good enough for our job, our family, or even the calling that God has placed on our lives.

However, God made you a unique human being, and He has a purpose for your life. Therefore, it is essential to come to the mindset that no one can steal the purpose God has for you, and God doesn’t make mistakes, so you are enough. You are unique, and the only way any of us miss the calling God has placed on our lives is when we refuse to step up in faith.

3. Identify the source of your feelings. Once you’ve acknowledged your feelings, try to identify what’s causing them. Are you comparing yourself to others? Feeling like you can’t do something? Trying to do too much? Once you know what’s causing your feelings of inadequacy, you can start working on addressing them. You can’t change something you can’t identify.

Finally, be patient. It takes time to overcome feelings of inadequacy, but you will eventually be able to move on from these negative thoughts with time, prayer, and patience. Remember that you are not alone in this, and there are people who care about you and want to help you. Talk to someone about your feelings, whether it’s a friend, family member, pastor, or therapist. And most importantly, be kind to yourself. Give yourself time and space to work through these feelings. There’s no quick fix for overcoming feelings of inadequacy, but when you trust that God is flawless, you will realize you are more than enough!

Thanks for reading!

P.S. Feelings of inadequacy can result from unrecognized shame or guilt in our lives. I have created 10 questions to help identify the hidden traps Satan uses to snare us.

This is a Free resource that you can get here.

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Are You Living a Life of Freedom? Or Have Words Damaged You?

Do You Know How Important Words Are to God?

Have you ever said something and then immediately regretted the words you spoke?

Have you been deeply hurt by harmful words spoken to you?

Words have power. In fact, the Bible says that everyone will give an account for every careless word spoken (Matthew 12:36).

The Bible has much to say about the words we speak. God used words to create the heavens and the earth, and He then made us in His image. God gave humans the ability to speak, and we are responsible for the things we say. Therefore, if you want to find wisdom on the importance of words, you need to look no further than the Bible. The information there is limitless, and when we understand how God views what we say and apply it to our lives, things change.

Photo by Julius Silver on Pexels.com

Negative words can change you if you let them.

Unfortunately, for most of my life, I was the collector of negative words. I would filter out anything positive said to me and hold on to the negative. I had taken damaging words and attached them to my identity. Therefore, when told that the child I was carrying would have a disability, I was terrified. I thought of all the negative words she would likely hear, and my heart hurt for her. Having experienced that in my life, I knew how it could damage her.

Negative comments inflict wounds that are hard to heal. If you typically attach negative words to your identity, these wounds shape your perception of yourself and others. As a result, you get programmed to disregard positive comments and hold onto negative ones. A lifetime of this will change you drastically.

When the negative words came toward my daughter, she was too young to be hurt by them, but I was affected. I took every comment to heart and gave those words the power to make me angry and bitter. I became short-tempered and quick to correct anyone who I felt “wronged” me. Instead of handling the situation with grace and mercy, I responded with anger, which was not good. How is that being a light in a dark world?

The negative words I allowed in my life changed me.

Have they changed you?

Have you been hurt by things people have said to you?
Do you have unhealed wounds from words?

As my relationship with the Lord grew, I felt conviction over my reaction, or rather over-reaction, to certain situations. Why was I so angry? Why was I so quick to over-react?

When I began to evaluate my situation, I realized that I had not only attached those negative comments to my identity, but I was feeding those words to myself. I was getting a daily dose of negativity, and it was me speaking the words.

Are there words that you don’t realize you speak to yourself?

There is hope!

You are someone who can change your perception by changing your inner voice. When you identify what you are hearing and speaking out, you can change. When you learn how to think differently, you free yourself from condemnation.

It took a while to figure out how I could do this, but it certainly changed my life. I transformed from someone obsessed with thinking everyone judged me over my weight to someone who doesn’t think about that anymore. It is incredible to live out from under judgment and condemnation.

When you let go of the negative, it empowers you to embrace the positive. As a result, you gain new confidence and a new identity. You are free to be yourself, and your confidence will significantly increase as you find the faith to step into new and exciting things.

So why waste another second of your life living with less than God intended for you? You can start changing now!

If you would like to learn how I retrained my negative inner voice, you can sign up for my Free Forgiven and Redeemed course.

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Are You Walking Down the Right Path?

In life, we each walk a path that was intended just for us. It was laid out and planned before you were born. But, at times, the road can be difficult and seem treacherous. So, when you know you will find comfort and protection in the Lord, you would be very remiss not to seek Him.

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted;

He rescues those whose spirits are crushed.

Psalm 34:18 NLT

You will find comfort and protection when you seek Him.

The Lord is the Lion of Judah, and He is a mighty force. He protects the humble and brings low the proud (Psalm 18:27). So turn to Him in humility, and He will show you the road to take (Proverbs 11:2).

There are things in life that leave us brokenhearted and searching. However, the Lord is always with us, and we will always find consolation when we cry out to Him.

When caught up in life’s troubles, we can forget that God has a purpose for us in this world. It is easy to disregard when the daily grind causes us to switch to autopilot as we deal with things that press in and demand our attention. Can you relate?

When starting our business, figuring out how to be successful so consumed me, I forgot about the only One who could make it succeed. I was relying on my work and not God’s grace. As a result, I had to get to the point of desperation before I came to the place of repentance.

I had to surrender my situation to God and step out of His way.

Is there something you need to give to God?

You may realize there are things you need to surrender, but how do you do that? How do you let go of the rope you have been clinging to and trust the Lord to catch you?

Surrendering control can be frightening, but are you really in control? You have a say over your actions and reactions, but beyond that, you have no power. Are you just treading water and not making progress? Are you living in fear because you are afraid of the unknown?

Psalm 23:3 NLT says, “He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name.” When David learned that he could depend on the Lord’s guidance, he was comforted knowing that God controls everything. When he acknowledged that God was his protector, he experienced the assurance of knowing that he was safe with the Lord as his shelter.

The Lord promises to guide us along the right path, which will bring honor to His name. However, we will not know what that path is if we do not ask, and without faith in His protection, we will continue to tread water.

Is there an area of your life you need to bring before God? A decision you must make, or a problem that needs solving? Remember, like the loving Father He is, God gives us what is good and holds back what is detrimental.

Ask for God’s will in your life and place your trust in Him. His plan will far exceed your expectations.

Have You Fallen Into a Popularity Trap?

You put in the time and effort to create a fantastic post for social media, one you are excited to share. You spend time typing your content, choosing every word carefully, and hit the post button. Then you wait. You wonder if anyone will react, and then doubt takes hold. What if no one likes it? What if no one comments?

Sound familiar? Well, if you can’t guess, I am speaking from experience. Shocker, right?

Have you ever done this?

We live in an age of public popularity. But is it a valid reality?

The Bible tells us we should work to please God and not people (Galatians 1:10). Because when we work to please people, we will never succeed, and it is a hollow pursuit. Most people are fickle creatures. Something that makes them happy today may not be good enough tomorrow.

If we are honest, we must admit that the “people pleaser” in us has sought affirmation from others at one time or another. We all desire praise that will make us feel worthy, but it is never enough, even when received.

Social Media often feels like High School resurrected!

Feeling rejected is common in this fallen world, especially on social media. When excluded at a party or other social event, the reason may be evident based on history. However, exclusion on social media by people who do not know you personally can leave you confused.

So why does rejection on social media matter anyway? Well, It all boils down to our basic human desire to feel wanted and accepted. But do we misinterpret reactions on social media?

Several factors contribute to popularity on sites such as Facebook, and we have little to no control over them. You have to remember that sites like Facebook control who sees what. It isn’t fair, but it is reality.

Too many people in this world base their value on the number of followers, likes, or shares they receive on social media. But, unfortunately, this form of seeking is dangerous. Because when that fickle crowd turns on someone, they are a pack of ravenous wolves.

Someone who forms an identity based on social media will have difficulty recovering from cyberbullying, especially when emotionally tied to that existence.

Everyone fights their own battles.

Unfortunately, it is a fact of life that not everyone will like us.

It helps to remember that when someone dislikes you, it often has nothing to do with you.

We live in a broken world full of broken people.

However, that doesn’t mean their actions and words aren’t harmful. If you let others’ comments or opinions define you, they change your identity. Furthermore, if you continually repeat those negative words to yourself, you begin to change your perspective on life. Consequently, you live in a perpetual state of self-criticism.

It is vital to see yourself the way God sees you. The Lord has a purpose and plan for your life. We have an earthly view when we try to please people and a heavenly view when we work to please God. Who do you want to please?

God is constant and never changes, so our value is substantiated when we seek to please Him.  

Do you know who you are in Christ? Or have you allowed the world to shape your identity?